My Dad died last Saturday, and the world will never be the same. 

His death was sudden, unexpected and painless for him as he'd always said it would be.  He suffered a heart attack at 11 a.m. while talking on the phone with one of his granddaughters about her recent graduation from college and upcoming wedding.  Mother took him to the hospital herself and he had a second, fatal heart attach at 1 p.m.  The ER doctor told Mother that he'd "lived his last day on earth."

Daddy was the best man I've ever known.  He was affectionate, funny, smart, compassionate, curious, faithful, understanding, modest, passionate about many things.  He loved parties and dinners, shopping, computers, and music - and he had a tin ear.  He was generous with his time, money and possessions.  Daddy never met a stranger anywhere.  He could, and did, talk to everyone and remembered what they told him.  He never stopped learning, and was convinced that he could learn anything, and so could we.  He loved photography and took thousands of photos of everything from sandstorms and giant hailstones to tiny flowers and big black bears.  He gardened with great zeal; he was always willing to try a new technique or new plant.

He didn't always understand things we kids did, but he had raised us to make our own decisions and he supported us when we did.  After I converted to Judaism he learned about the religion and its customs.  When Ken and I married, Daddy explained the ceremony to Ken's parents; they are Jewish but were not familiar with the wedding customs and rituals.  He loved Ken like a son, and was glad I finally married a man he respected and liked.

Daddy was a great gift giver.  He really listened when people talked and often surprised us with the perfect gift, which we didn't expect from anyone.  One memorable year I received my first rifle and my first dress suit and heels from him.  He taught me to reupholster furniture and made the best buttonholes on my sewing machine that I've ever seen.  

I am devastated, and so very glad that Ken insisted I visit at Thanksgiving alone (while he stayed home with a sick cat).  It was a special time for us, and I was finally able to thank Daddy for many things he did for me while I was growing up.  We shopped and ate out and talked, and he admired my knitting and itz mathematical precision.  It was a very good visit.

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From the memorial service:

Delton loved Zo.  Their marriage and love and care for each other were a testimony of G-d's grace.  They stood by each other, devoting themselves to their family, their G-d and their friendships.  They shared a love many only dream of and their legacy of love is seen on each of your faces and in our hearts.

Delton would talk to anyone and listen deeply to their life story.  He was a great teacher: patient and kind with his family and friends...and his ability to teach came from an inspirational part of his heart that loved to learn and understand...as an electrical engineer he figured he could learn just about anything, and therefore do just about anything from hanging cabinets, to reupholstering furniture, to rebuilding car engines, to teaching his children how to use a sewing machine.  He was generous, enjoyed helping people, was witty with a great sense of humor, and a thoughtful gift giver.  He loved family vacations and made sure fishing was always part of the trip, helping and teaching his children and grandchildren how to fish.  He enjoyed deer hunting, and creating a famous deer heart dish with cream of mushroom soup.  Mostly, he enjoyed spending time with his family; he was passionate about time with his family and sharing in a family's love. He was affectionate. He and Zo celebrated holding hands and he gave great hugs.  He was an instigator of parties and a great shopper, especially around a garage sale, and was like a kid in a toy factory when he was introduced to eBay.  

Delton knew the joy and power and simplicity of being with others.  Delton enjoyed being with himself, being with Zo, being with his four wonderful children, being with his grandchildren and great grandchildren, being with his friends, being with the church in fellowship and worship and being with G-d.  He knew, intuitively, that being with others allowed space for G-d to touch souls to each other.

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The official obituary, from the Midland Reporter-Telegram:

The Good Lord called Delton Aubrey Wilson, 82, of Midland (Texas), home on Saturday, January 9, 2010.

Delton was born on October 17, 1927 in Crosby County, Texas, to Albert and Bonnie Wilson.  He graduated from McAdoo High School.  He enlisted in the United States Army and served in Korea, but returned to graduate with a degree in Electrical Engineering from Texas Technological College (now Texas Tech University).  He was a member of honorary engineering fraternity Tau Beta Pi while at Texas Tech.

He married the love of his life, Rebecca Zoann, in 1952.  They moved to Kermit to work for Schlumberger Well Services; he also worked in Southeastern New Mexico, and was in business in Tucumcari, NM, for four years.  He then went back to work for Sun Oil Company and worked for 20 years as a log analyst.  He and his wife lived and raised their family in several small towns in West Texas, but settled and retired in Midland in 1991. He was an avid sportsman, enjoying hunting and fishing.  He cherished helping his grandson complete his hunter safety course.

Delton was a faithful man of G-d, a loving husband for 57 years, a loving father, grandfather and great grandfather.  He was preceded in death by his parents, Albert and Bonnie.  Left behind to cherish his memory are his loving and devoted wife, Rebecca Zoann; his daughters Diann and husband Ken, Marcia; sons Del and wife Mylinda, Mark and wife Jena; grandchildren Rebecca and husband Justin, Hannah and husband Michael, Celina, Pierce and Debbie; great grandchildren Michael and Harmony; brother-in-law Derrell and wife Joyce; nieces Danita, Kimberly and Susan; and adored mother-in-law Arvetta.

Delton was also involved in many professional organizations and in his church as an elder.  He was a member of SPWLA, the SPE and Toastmasters.  He received the Schlumberger Wildcatter Award twice.  His most treasured accomplishments were his 57 years of marriage and his family.  Memorials may be made to the National Rifle Association and Boy Scouts of America.

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So, yeah, I've been making a stab at doing stuff.  Some of the stuff involves completing long-ignored projects like this one:

  A second pair of Jaywalkers, started May 1, 2006 - almost as soon as the first pair were finished back in the heady heyday of Jaywalkers.  Love the pattern - it's easy to memorize, confounds strangers watching you knit and nicely deals with multi-colored yarn.

This pair is knit from Lamb's Pride Wildfoote, in the Rock'n'Roll colorway.

The first sock was completed in July 2006 and the second cast on immediately.  The second sock was finished in July 2009!

(See?  Even if I do have 40 WIPs at any given time, they eventually get finished!)

It's amazing how often I paralyze myself with shoulda, woulda, coulda thoughts.  You know the ones:  shoulda done this instead of that, woulda been happier if, coulda made more something.  If only...

My favorite if only: If only I knew then what I know now...  Who doesn't have 20-20 hindsight?  I can justify almost anything that way - first and second husbands, eating junk food, stupid job changes, wardrobe mistakes, bad purchases - you name it and I can moan about how it would have been different "if only".

2010 is the year I give up the "if only" and embrace my mistakes and imperfections.  I want to celebrate the lessons I've learned (unwillingly, often) and the very real knowledge that only comes from being right out there and making mistakes and missteps. I've learned from each and every mistake - even the ex-husbands - and all that knowledge helped bring me to this point in my life and this wonderful husband and all the fantastic opportunities we enjoy every day.

Will I stop making errors?  Doubtful. 

Will I make the same ones again?  I hope not.

Is life going to be all skittles and beer?  Probably not.  (And what are skittles anyway?)

Are there more wardrobe mistakes in my future?  Pretty sure there are.

Will I eat junk food again and regain a lost pound or two?  If chocolate is classified as junk food, this one's a yes.

Am I going to beat myself up about these mistakes and such?  Not so much.  I deserve to be treated well by everyone, and than includes myself.  I'm a good, decent, smart person who occasionally makes a bad or stupid decision. That doesn't make me a bad or stupid person, just human.

This year instead of being focused on the things that don't go well or that I didn't do right, I'm going to focus on what does go well and what I learn from the other stuff.  I want to banish shoulda, woulda and coulda from my thoughts and vocabulary.  It won't change the outcome of any event, and probably won't make me richer, taller, thinner, smarter or more talented.  But bet you dollars to doughnuts I'll accomplish more and complete more and do more and that'll make me happier.

Good bye and good riddance 2009.  Don't let the door hit you on the way out!

Hello and welcome 2010!  We're going to have a wonderful time together!

2010 is off to a great start.  We spent a lovely evening with Joan and Will and 2 other couples, knitting and playing with cats and helping one another stay awake.  

We slept in (me til 8:30, Ken closer to 10) then I made tea and read in my favorite chair with a cat on my lap until Ken was up.  Breakfast out at The Nile, including a long talk with the owner while we ate mangos.  Gardening - the first roses are pruned, the bed under them weeded and covered with new mulch.  More reading.  

A proper Southern-Texan New Year's Day dinner was cooked and eaten:  ham, sweet potatoes, greens, black-eyed peas and cornbread. 

New knitting was started - a lacy scarf-y cowl-y thing in (stashed Lamb's Pride) apple green yarn.  Quilt fabrics were chosen from stash for a couple of scrappy quilts from a recent magazine.  My first sewing project in mumble mumble year is in progress - also from stash.  

This year is not so much about changing my life and my habits (although there will be movement in the areas that need it) as it is about enjoying what we have, simplifying in many areas, sharing with others and getting back to the basics that make life so much fun.  The last couple of months have really shown me what's important to a wonderful life, and that's the path I'm taking now.  Future posts will expand on doing stuff, getting rid of stuff, letting go, moving  forward and remembering to smell the roses along the way.

It's so nice to have you along for the trip!

Nipper (RIP) on the left and GreyGuy(RIP) on the right.

I hope this is the last cat obituary on this blog for a long time, but I also want to post it before New Year's because there are many cheerful and hopeful posts just waiting for the calendar to change.

Nipper was euthanized on November 22.   She had a tumor in her ear that had ruptured and was infected, a generalized skin disorder (like eczema) and was suffering from kidney disease, diabetes or a thyroid disorder.  Any of those would have required twice daily medication, and we've never been able to pet Nipper, though she was born in Ken's townhouse and raised with the rest of her litter, all of whom are delightful kitties.

Nipper was possibly the most beautiful cat we've had, which made it really frustrating that she hated us so.  In fact, her full name was Nipper-Who-Hates-Us.  Our wonderful vet described Nipper as autistic.  She knew her name and came when called, but never got close enough to be touched, even accidentally.   We noticed this strange behavior when she was about 6 or 8 weeks old. The whole litter of kittens and GreyGuy (the older brother by a few months) and mother Sylvia would climb on the bed for ice cream treats, but Nipper would never get close enough for a pat.  When we picked her up all hell broke loose.

She loved treats - turkey, yum! - and sometimes would allow me to hand feed her as long as we didn't make eye contact.  I petted her twice, both times when she was sound asleep.  Once I woke her, and was treated to hissing and growling and attempted attacks on my hands.  The vet makes house calls due to our large number of cats, and he had to lasso her in order to examine her. 

As sick as she was, I still couldn't catch and scruff her easily.  By the time we got her to the vet (1 mile away) she'd bumped her nose repeatedly on the carrier door and it was bleeding. Given the known issues and probable long-term prognosis, we decided that the kindest thing we could do was to euthanize her while she was still sedated (so the vet could examine her).  It was very sad, and we do miss her (oddly enough).  I believe she's finally at peace.

Sweetie, our 16 1/2 year old cat, died Monday.  It wasn't a surprise; she'd been declining for a few months and Ken stayed home with her at Thanksgiving because he was worried she wouldn't be treated "specially" enough by anyone else.  It was a surprise because she seemed to just give up on Sunday, refusing to eat more than a bite of anything and falling over when rounding corners while walking.  She was able to get into our bed Monday morning, where she crawled partially under the covers.  She died in her sleep about noon.

Sweetie was an incredibly special cat.  She was delivered to me the weekend after the Northridge earthquake in January 1994 by Robin, her original mom who rescued her from the engine of a truck.  She flew from LA and was not happy about it!

She was my companion for 16 years, after my ex-husband and I separated.  She kept me company during some lonely times and had definite opinions about men I dated and my ex (he never saw her - she hid whenever he was around).  Her fur and my hair were the same color and she had a redhead's temper!

She was so feral that she spent her first month with me hiding behind the toilet or under the bed.  She wasn't sure how the be a cat interacting with people until I got Freyja from my ex-husband and Freyja taught Sweetie about "treats" and such.  She never liked being held, and sat on my lap only 3 or 4 times in the almost 16 years we spent together.  The last time she willing sat on my lap was Sunday, when we enjoyed a long snuggle and nap together.

She loved yarn, and was happiest when there was a large basket of yarn in the living room.  She'd pick her favorites - generally sock yarn - and bring them to bed with her.  She'd make and nest and sleep on it.  She never ate yarn, just carried it around.  She also loved swatches, and carried them with her from room to room.                                

When Ken and I started dating, she decided he was The One after our second date!  From that day forward, every time she heard his motorcycle or truck coming down the street or pulling into the driveway, she ran out to greet him – practically leaving skid marks in the carpet!  She’d meet him in the dining room and stand with her little kitty feet on the toes of his boots, gazing up with adoration in her eyes.

When he came home after his stroke, she was Nurse Sweetie; sleeping with Ken and making sure he wasn’t bothered by anyone or anything.  She observed his home therapy sessions, and attempted to intervene a couple of times when the exercises caused pain.  Sweetie loved to be close to him while he watched TV, and snuggled happily by his feet.

Sweetie lived with me for 8 years before she dared sit on my lap.  She was never a lap sitter; preferring to sit beside Ken or with 2 front paws in my lap.  She had her own room, and allowed only her humans to sit on her sofa bed.  Other cats were relegated to the floor or one of the cat trees.When she wanted attention, she told us in no uncertain terms - tapping on our shoulders until her wish was granted.

The house seems empty without her.  She slept with us almost every night and woke me often to pet her and cuddle.   It's strange to sleep undisturbed.  She had a strange habit of sharpening her paws (she was declawed when I got her) on sneakers, and we miss that. The other cats know something has changed and a couple of them have been looking for Sweetie in her favorite places.  

Rest in peace Sweetie Girl.  You'll be met at the Rainbow Bridge by Nipper, GreyGuy, Maya, Echo, Sylvia, Freyja, Myrddin, KittyHawk, FunnyFace, Athena, Hades, Pandora, Hammurabi, Sam, Nefer, Katza, Muezza, Esmerelda, and the dogs you loved to tease: Yuri and Tonya.

...no, not me!

Another long night at work Thursday getting one of the final releases for 2009 installed.  That's 3 all-nighters in the past 3 weeks, along with a couple of very long days (ending near midnight).  I only remember 1 all-nighter during the 8 years I was in college!

And I am so NOT a night owl.  Bedtime is usually 10 pm, although I often read until 11.  That's just about enough sleep, since we get up at 5:30.  I really need to move it back to 5, but that's asking a lot!

Friday was essentially a lost day.  I telecommuted beginning at 9 (after about 3.5 hours of sleep), took a couple of conference calls, prepared for an emergency install that didn't happen (hooray!), and walked into "downtown" Niles - about 2 miles for the ribbon cutting at the new Niles Town Plaza.  To see what a beautiful day it was, click on photo 5.  At 3 Ken left to volunteer for the Train of Lights.

By 6 I was installed in my recliner with my book and hot chocolate, ready for an evening of PBS Mystery! watching.  I napped off and on until Ken returned at 9:30, then crawled into bed!

No knitting to report - I kept dozing off while knitting, so finally gave up.   There are still recently finished objects to show off, if the camera and the objects are in the same place at the same time.  Socks, another sweater with the pieces completed, ready for blocking and assembling.  Another time!